I'll never forget a powerful thought experiment that a mentor shared with me about five years ago. He often contemplated the idea of God sending us to Earth with a unique calling. As we prepare to embark on our earthly journey, God inquires about the problem in the world we'd like to solve. He then asks if we're willing to endure any necessary pain to assist others in resolving that problem.
You might aspire to end drug addiction, so God imparts upon you an addicted mother, allowing you to witness how it ravages your family. Perhaps you're determined to eradicate child abuse, so He allows you to walk through that trial, to intimately understand the fear. Your goal may be to eliminate hunger; thus, He exposes you to the pain of an impoverished upbringing, where every meal becomes a prayer answered. Or you might choose to help people cope with grief, so He permits you to experience profound loss, resulting in overwhelming despair.
I find this thought experiment particularly profound because it illustrates the purpose to pain. It encourages a shift in perspective, enabling me to see the potential for growth within my past experiences of pain and suffering. It offers an opportunity to reflect on how my healing journey can serve as a catalyst for the healing of others.
This thought experiment challenges me to abandon excuses, discard the victim mentality, and embrace the belief that I have a purpose in my life. Often, I find myself tempted to numb and medicate my pain, but it compels me to confront and reevaluate my approach.
Let me be clear: Pain is an undeniable reality in this broken world. Evil exists, and I acknowledge the heartbreak, loss, and unimaginable suffering that many endure. However, I also believe that there is always a reason for our pain if we choose to seek it. Admittedly, that's the most challenging part.
Last week, we had the privilege of interviewing Jamie Rindal on the Missoula Podcast. (See Episode #12) Jamie is an exceptional individual, wholeheartedly committed to her mission, and her unwavering determination is palpable.
Her infectious energy left us inspired by her remarkable journey. Jamie's passion lies in helping young women overcome addiction and lead passionate, empowered lives. She serves as the director of Adult and Teen Challenge in Missoula, an all-women recovery program dedicated to combating drug and alcohol addiction. Teen Challenge, a non-profit organization, has been instrumental in transforming the lives of women who have struggled with sobriety and faced the disintegration of their lives. The program equips them with education, employment opportunities, healing, and a fresh start in life.
The most astonishing part of our interview was when Jamie shared her own painful past and her resolute response to adversity.
"I don’t regret anything in my life because it has brought me to where I am today," she stated. In the span of nine months, my world was turned upside down:
• A divorce
• The loss of my sister (to a car accident)
• The discovery of an unplanned pregnancy
Rather than submitting to despair, Jamie harnessed this phase of her life as a source of inspiration and direction. She chose not to fold but instead to channel her unwavering attention and passion toward ending addiction and introducing women to a renewed way of living.
Jamie inspired me to look back on my story and ask myself if I was making the most of my pain. Am I on fire to help others in need? Where am I making excuses? Where can I step into more healing so I can be a bigger blessing to my community?
Jamie challenged me to go make a difference! I hope her story does the same for you.
Here are four key takeaways from our interview that can help you find meaning amidst life's messiness:
1.) Avoiding the Medication of Pain: You Must Feel It to Heal It
While the inclination to numb pain is a natural response for many, it is essential to recognize that this approach, particularly when applied to emotional pain, can be detrimental. Emotional pain often leads to various forms of self-medication, such as addiction to pornography, sex, food, drugs, or alcohol. The key is to confront and process this pain rather than masking it. Don’t run away from the pain. Feel it in order to heal it.
2. Discovering Purpose in Pain
Choose to allow your pain to catapult you towards your purpose with unwavering perseverance. Look for the pain to mature your resolve. Try to reframe and let the pain be a great redemption story. We love comeback stories in the movies. Your life can be a comeback story if you allow it. This is easier said than done, but it is a promise worth pursuing. Avoid wallowing in your pain or seeking escape; instead, recognize that the journey, with its ups and downs, has the potential to transform your life with profound meaning.
3.) Surrounding Yourself with Supporters
During a season of profound healing, it is imperative not to surround yourself with individuals who encourage you to wallow in pain. Overcoming adversity requires the presence of the right people—those who believe in you, offer support, and, simultaneously, refuse to let you remain stagnant. You might find yourself at odds with them or even tempted to sever ties, but their unwavering support is invaluable.
4.) Don’t shut down. Reach out for help.
Above all else, do not isolate yourself. It may seem easier to maintain a façade of strength and normalcy, but eventually, the cumulative impact of unaddressed pain will catch up with you. Seek healing proactively, before it becomes an absolute necessity.
5.) Harnessing Your Pain as a Platform for Helping Others
If you struggle to confront your pain, ask yourself this pivotal question: What if your pain could be a source of help and inspiration to others within your community? Consider how your experiences of brokenness can serve as a guide for reaching those in need. Pain can either define you as a guarded and disheartened individual or carve a path that leads to the assistance of others in their moments of need.
I extend my heartfelt gratitude to Jamie for her unwavering commitment to rising above her pain and using it as a force for good to help others.
- Resset
This blog post is a powerful exploration of pain and purpose. Inspired by a thought experiment and a compelling interview, it delves into the transformative journey of confronting pain, finding purpose, seeking support, and using personal struggles to help others. A deeply insightful and inspiring read.